Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
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duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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