It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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