Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize