so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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