I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize