But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Tell her she can't have a vagina
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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