..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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