I accidentally had phone sex last night
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
