Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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