she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
