nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
