yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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