The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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