singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize