yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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