Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
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i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
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Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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