wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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