I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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