is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
