I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
