Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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