This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
