i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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