I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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