You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
