well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
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I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
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It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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