Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Randomize