So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
i think my cat just said my name.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
