This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just found puke in my bra..
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
