Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
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Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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