there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
