sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
it was like eating out sand paper
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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