Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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