also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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