If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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