Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
she looked like the before picture.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
