Your dad touched me again.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
bring money and cleavage
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
