As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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