OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize