Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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