We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
