using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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