I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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