All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
