I CAN MOONWALK!
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
did i walk over a car last night?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
