Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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