Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
