so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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