Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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