Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
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i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize