I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
where are my eyebrows?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
