Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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