Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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