yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
