my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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