There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
