Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
