I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize