Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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