I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
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just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
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I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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