Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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